How do you decide to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?

The decision whether to be a stay at home mom or to work outside the home can be one of the most difficult questions a mother has to face.

Sometimes, the decision is out of her hands.  Sometimes, financial circumstances dictate that she must seek outside work if the family is to survive.

When that is not the case, the doubts begin. 

On the one hand, it is heart-breaking to leave a child, particularly a small baby, and head out to the workplace.  You risk missing out on hearing the first word or watching the first step.  A young child who clings to the mother and begs her not to leave him/her can only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

On the other hand, an extra paycheck in the house can provide benefits that the entire family would have to forego without it.  That extra paycheck would give that same child opportunities and advantages s/he could not have without it.  And in today’s world, each one needs every opportunity s/he can get.

So, how do you decide?  Ask yourself these questions:

Do you love being Suzy Homemaker?  Does it matter to you how white your linens are or whether or not your floors are clean enough to eat on?  Would you rather bake cookies than land a new contract for your company? 

Or does the prospect of 10-12 hours a day alone with only a child for conversation seem like cruel and unusual punishment to you?  Are you the type who says, “My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy”?  Are you proud of what you accomplish at work and think that being at home all day would turn your mind to mush?

Your answers to those questions will tell you what you should do.

Unfortunately, there is no one correct answer.  What is right for you, might not be right for me.  Each woman must decide for herself.

The important thing to remember is the old southern saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Your child will sense whether or not you are happy.  And, since every child is naturally self-centered, s/he will believe that s/he is the cause of that happiness or unhappiness.  If your decision makes you unhappy, it will affect your child.  Happy parents raise happy children.

The correct answer is that you must look inside your own heart.  Each person is different.  Make your own decision on what is right for you and your family.  And don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong.  No one knows your heart and your family like you do.  The decision you make must be right for you.