Feminism May Not Be What You Think It Is

Recently, I read where a young woman was considering writing an article about how those under the age of 45 consider “feminism” to be a dirty word.  After “tweeting” with her, I learned that many young people today equate feminism with “man hating”.

 

I was astounded! I guess the true definition of feminist has been lost over the years.

 

I have been a feminist for over 40 years.  Never once in that time would I have described myself as a man hater.  I have been happily married for 39 years, with two grown sons and a grandson.

 

The true definition of feminist is one who is willing to fight to eradicate instances of discrimination against women, wherever they may be found.  Research shows that there are many men out there who agree, including entire organizations.  NOMAS (National Organization of Men Against Sexism) is one example.

 

In the United States today, young women are normally assured of equal treatment with their male counterparts.  They have not experienced the discrimination and the harassment that women were forced to accept just a few short years ago.  They apparently don’t realize how hard we were forced to fight to make things better for them and everyone else who comes along afterward.

 

As a reminder, let’s take a look back at the late 1950s, early 1960s.

 

The times were repressive, at best.  Girls were not permitted to wear shorts or slacks to school – except under their skirts when the weather got really cold.  Skirts had to reach the floor when you kneeled down.  If not, you would be sent home immediately.

 

In high school, “girls” were encouraged to take homemaking classes and – if we insisted – office practice classes such as typing, filing, and shorthand.  We were discouraged from taking college prep classes and absolutely forbidden to take auto shop or wood shop.  Boys were given first preference in the Driver’s Ed classes.  If there was room left over, then girls could take the class.  There were no organized sports for girls and absolutely no sports scholarships.

 

As a young woman in the late 1960s and early 1970s, I had to fight for my place in the business world.  I experienced discrimination, harassment, and blatant sexism more than once. 

 

I was refused jobs simply because I was a woman.  I was told that they couldn’t afford to train a woman because she would leave as soon as she found a man to marry and then they would have to train someone else.  After I was married, I was told that I couldn’t possibly be dependable because a) I’d most likely lay out of work one week a month or b) I’d probably get pregnant and quit, and c) I’d have to stay home every time one of my kids got the sniffles. 

 

At one job, the warehouse manager slipped up behind me at the soda machine and grabbed my butt.  I came around swinging and gave him a bloody nose.  He complained to the boss and I was told I needed to learn how to get along with people and not take offense at a joke.

 

I tested and qualified for a federal government job.  For the first time, I received equal pay for equal work.  However, that didn’t stop the harassment.  My supervisor was a Chauvinist of the highest order.  He informed me that I was taking food out of the mouths of a man's family by insisting on working at a job other than secretary, teacher or nurse.  He deliberately scheduled me to work inconvenient hours and split shifts and missed no opportunity to let me know he didn’t want me there.

 

Back then, there was no way to file a discrimination suit.  We were told that if we wanted to work in a man’s world, we had to put up with whatever conditions we ran into – and we did, while fighting to improve conditions along the way.

 

In 1984, two friends and I started our own business.  By that time, the laws had changed and it was an advantage to be a woman.  Women owned businesses were considered a “minority” and “disadvantaged” and were given special privileges.  As a result, we did very well and never again faced discrimination in the workplace.

 

I have a close friend who is 45.  She attended college on a sports scholarship. When she graduated with a degree in engineering, she was immediately recruited by several top companies.  She experienced more discrimination due to her age – managing people old enough to be her parents – than she did due to her gender.  It would never occur to her that she would ever be subjected to sexual harassment – and she definitely wouldn’t put up with it.

 

That is great!  That is what we fought for – so that those who came after us would not have to put up with the things we did.

 

Now, all of that hard work is being maligned.  Now they are telling us that feminism is a dirty word.

 

I understand that it is no longer necessary for us to burn our bras and fight for equal rights the way we did in the past, and I am glad.  I understand that there are some women who choose to stay home with their children.  I have no problem with that.

 

We didn’t fight so that every woman would be forced to join the army or get a paying job outside the home.  We fought so that every woman would have the right and the freedom to make her own choice.

 

Just as with all of our other freedoms, if we don’t protect it, it could go away. We need to guard against that happening.  We need to continue to be feminists.  So, for the foreseeable future, I am a feminist – and proud of it.